How can you tell when a train is gone?
It leaves its tracks behind..
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What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User's Manual?
The bus and train timetables.
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Do you know the diference between a woman in a church and a woman in a bath?
A woman in a church has a soul full hope, and a woman in a bath has a hole full soap! :s_laugh: :s_laugh: :s_laugh: :s_laugh: :08: :iagree:
Lord, I have a problem. "
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that funny snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will always need your advice to think properly and especially for directions everywhere."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?"
"Well,.....you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that Lord? "
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring..... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.
And it will have to be our little secret.............. You know, woman to woman."
This is how politics works
I told my son, "You will marry the girl I choose."
He said, "NO!"
I told him, "She is Bill Gates' daughter."
He said, "OK."
I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son."
Bill Gates said, "NO."
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank."
Bill Gates said, "OK."
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, "NO."
I told him, "My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law."
He said, "OK."
This is exactly how politics works . . .